Chris Rock
His part in Saturday Night Live (1990-92)
Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life. (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32] 
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Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie. (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32]
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Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes. (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32]
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A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32]
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Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32]
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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous. (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32]
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Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself. (Chris Rock) [03/12/2018 14:45:32]
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Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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Tomorrow is more sure than just about anything else in the entire world. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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So there's a cloud of rage around me, but being an artist kind of changes that. No matter what you thought coming in, what ignorant thing you believed, you're in show business for two years, you're like, "OK, I was wrong." It's hard to be mad at any particular group of people when you're an artist. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body. (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects! (Chris Rock) [03/03/2018 03:03:03]
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!!!
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